youre welcome

  currently re-listening to preacher's daughter by ethel cain all the way through. grammarly is begging me to capitalize my proper nouns. yesterday i drove about six hours. first to the airport to drop off my boyfriend, and then home. childhood home? college feels like my home. i had woken up at 6am, so i felt shaky and hungry and tired and scared for the first hour or two after leaving the airport. then eventually i was two hours away and my phone was playing happy songs, throwbacks, and everything was okay. of course , there was still that nagging in my head. turn back. go home. returning to my hometown is hard. not because everything is different but because everything is the same. my house is still quiet. too quiet. going to my regular grocery store doesn't feel novel and funny, it feels like i was just there last week. maybe i was never at college at all. i saw my friends just yesterday, but they already feel so far away. it feels as if i must reach out to them, i must tex...

current mood is college and all that current contemplation: eyebrow piercing. current obsessions: co-star, crochet, and this one song I've been consuming much more classic media since arriving at college, from movies such as  fight club  and   saw  to recently reading   my immortal.  feeling worldly. as the night begins to arrive earlier, I begin to grow more depressed, move more more slowly.  I've been saying that the past few weeks I've been in something that I will soon snap out of, and I think that time has come. I am becoming "myself" again. the most obvious sign was that I have resumed picking and poking at my skin at every opportunity. this is a bad habit I have, but it can be stopped sometimes when I am so distracted that I don't think of it. for the past month or so, I have been moving nonstop. always surrounded by other people. I'm the happiest I've been in years, but this is in part because I am sacrificing my needs. I think it's s...