youre welcome

  I went to h&m today and it made me depressed. shopping for clothes is so depressing these days. I can never tell if I like something or if I just think my friends will like it. the clothes in h&m and forever 21 and pacsun and target all look the same. I don't even know what I like anymore. following trends is like a race against time these days... like you have to buy the thing the second you see it so you can be seen owning it while its still relevant. have been watching Seinfeld lately with my brother. hadn't ever watched it until just recently. its pretty good. also been watching boondocks. 🚪I cannot wait for the sims wedding stories pack to come out! haven't really mentioned sims on this blog yet but you should know it is one of my obsessions for the past three years or so. I have played 600+ hours. not to brag or anything but I am like really good at building lots and making sims😆. I NE...

  current obsession is halva. has been for weeks. looove that shit. went to cat cafe, restaurant, and car wash today. thrilling. my other current obsession is bridges in songs. I feel like they're always the best part. been thinking lately about going on an Israel birthright trip. I'm half jewish, but I've never really been practicing. just did Hanukkah and passover and stuff. also I don't believe in god... idk if if that makes me ineligible. but anyway I've been interested in learning more about jewish culture lately and I've been reading a book of jewish stories. wish my parents had made me believe in god when I was little bc theres no convincing me now. I think I'm a really good candidate for believing in god because I am so full of fear but no. I just can't believe it. no man in the sky looking out for me. but back on topic I think the birthright trip would be really fun plus its free...

  if all else fails, at least I have a bag of oranges in the bottom drawer of my fridge. if happiness was a fruit it would be an orange.  snapshot of today: crawling around the floors in play rehearsal, eating orange in bright kitchen, running through windy courtyard. I feel alive today. I feel appreciative of the world and I think the orange was what reminded me. the hill is covered in shimmering ice and the world is cold but the sun is warm. an orange is the sun. the dust particles in the sunbeams are charming. its the last day of school before a weeklong break and I can't wait to go skiing and do nothing and watch tv.  short post 4 today I just had all these things in my head and had to write them down 🌞

mid February means apple music replay is now available. (think Spotify wrapped but all year) top artist is Taylor swift naturally. a close second is the cast of spring awakening. sigh. stayed home from school today bc I didn't feel like going. made a physical to do list which certainly helps get things done. but I can't do that all the time because then it stops working. I have homework for the first time in forever and I am remembering why I dropped out of public school. I am like a chronic procrastinator. its awful actually it really derails my life. at least writing a blog post was on my to do list so thats another thing I can cross off. this year has been progressing at what feels like a regular pace. feels like mid February. is mid February. I have been saturating my brain in spring awakening lately. I have found so much joy in singing with others which I had not expected f...

  current mood: apple music friends mix + vegan cheese I am listening to a car seat headrest song right now and I am liking it and that is scaring me. secrets are not valuable if there is no one that wants to know them. I am not valuable. this is not a statement I will elaborate on. one of my favorite feelings is coming home after going grocery shopping. it always feels like a new novelty even though it is roughly a weekly occurrence. it is even more thrilling when its from somewhere like trader joes or even Whole Foods. it is the thrill of endless new ingredient combinations even though its probably the same thing that was in the bag last week. it is the thrill of a new yogurt flavor I have never seen before and can't wait to try. nothing feels better than having so many good options for what to make for dinner that you can't decide.  bubble gum is the song im listening to now. bubble gum is a really good word combination...

  current mood: rereading blog posts because I am the funniest most interesting person in the world. staying home from school because I can be far more productive at home than at school. for example right now I'm writing a blog post instead of sitting on a couch playing Disney crossy road. the only things I like now are play rehearsals and dance class. thats all I want to do. I hate everything else.💣 matte nail polish is still 100% in but my dumb restless fingers can't help but pick it off. silicone phone cases are OUT. they get sooo dusty. currently craving summer. craving warm and tan and chlorine. winter makes my wrists and ankles scream. wanting crunchy hair and waterlogged ears. wanting string bracelets that i'll never wear. the worst of summer could be the best of winter. I hate the snow I hate the cold I hate the world. I miss grass stains and the remaining popsicle flavors. eating last nights f...

  hellooo forgot about blog lol was sick all week and missed school every day.  current mood: cat will not stop licking me lately I've been filling my ears with Taylor swift. obviously I have known Taylor swift forever but it wasn't until recently that I actually liked her music much. exile is my favorite song ofc. also in addition to picking up the daily wordle I've been doing the taylordle. the past me would not be proud.  latest discovery is matte nail polish. absolutely brilliant. it appears we are approaching Girl Scout cookie season and my god if I don't get my hands on some of those I will be devastated. Samoas are obviously my favorites but last year I tried those s'mores one for the first time and they were really good. toffee-tastic had so much potential but they were far to hard to chew. never loved thin mints, very boring. do-si-dos are obviously incredible because they a...

  so, breaking news, currently " I am in the midst of a head cold and have not showered in three days." (flashback to my first blog post) except I actually showered yesterday. 😷 I think I predicted the future. current mood: eating oranges and watching youtube compilations. previously I mentioned a list of books that have heavily impacted my life, so I suppose while I am ill and have all the time in the world I might as well write it.  (in no particular order) 1. bloomability by Sharon creech 2. I am princess x by cherie priest 3. a mango shaped space by Wendy mass 4. middle school: the worst years of my life by James patterson 5. when you reach me by Rebecca stead 6. shingaling by r.j.  Palacio 7. willow falls series by Wendy mass 8. the westing game by Ellen raskin this isn't a complete list, just the books that came to mind. most of these I first read like 4 years ago, so also gonna make a ...

current mood: enjoying an iced chai latte and apple slices and wearing a black tank top   my inspiration for starting a blog was that I'm reading this book called Solitaire and the main character has a blog and I thought that was kind of cool. I think blogs are kind of an old fashioned thing, only blogs I see nowadays are the cooking type or the mom blogs where they teach you to make sensory activities or slime or something. blogs r cool tho bc its like an abstract diary thats open to the world. and its not like im revealing my secrets or anything im just saying stuff and probably no ones reading it but they totally could be.  been feeling extremely dejected and morose lately. not much else to say about that. tomorrow I intend to go skiing for the first time. hope I look cool in the goggles. skiing is closely tied to my dream of visiting Switzerland  and these are both due to a certain book by the name of Bloomability...