an excess of good things

 hello blog! my two year blogiversary was january 29!! very exciting. it feels crazy to be writing something that isn't for school right now. been very busy as of late, adjusting to my second semester of college. i've started off as a bit more of a recluse than i was last semester, taking a lot of time to myself. 

already have had my fair share of disappointments, opportunities, laughs, missteps, beautiful moments, etc.

snapshot of today so far:

woke up at 8:30. showered and went to the dining hall, brought back breakfast for my boyfriend and i. went to my first class at 10:30, where we discussed the film the spiral staircase. i spoke a little, more than i usually do. left campus promptly after class for a target/whole foods run. enjoyed the 10 minute drive there and back, first listening to my february playlist and then a spot of alex g. at my desk now, eating whole foods sushi and blogging. it's 2:01.

for the rest of the day, i anticipate my 6pm class, dinner, and too much homework.

i've been going to bed early lately. like nine or ten. it can be hard as a notorious fomo-haver, but honestly i haven't minded that much. it makes me feel more on top of things. 

i love having this glorious 6-hour gap between these two classes, it feels like i could do all the homework in the world.  

yesterday was such a beautiful day. it was still pretty cold out, but in my room it was warm. the sun was shining so bright through my curtain. i described the environment like trying to take a nap in a tent during the day. i imagine a green tent, since that's what i know. bright green fabric billowing tautly in the breeze, an ant meandering across the inflatable mattress, the one with that tacky, almost sticky, grippy, furry feel. lying on your stomach, on top of your sleeping bag, obviously. somewhat covering your face with your hand since the sun beams right through your eyelids. breathing slowly and measuredly, as not to quicken your heart rate or inhale too much of the hot air. it's many degrees hotter inside the tent than it is outside, i bet you could even find a tree with a bit of coolness in its shade. but the heat of the tent is almost like an embrace, pressing down on you, guiding you into maybe an hour of restless sleep. 

anyways, that's what i imagined. i also admired the walls of my dorm room, painted a slightly yellower white than the ceiling. that color seemed like the most beautiful one in that moment. all my posters and pictures and letters popped right off of the wall. they had such a great orderly look there on the wall, each one fitting in to place with the others. 

i was there with my boyfriend, spending an hour or so before the next obligation. we took pictures of each others eyes in the sunlight and compared them. we reminded ourselves and each other again, as we often must do, that everything is okay. i had the revelation that everything i am overwhelmed by is good! just an excess of too many good things. too many good readings for class, too many good opportunities. college can be so hard, but i have to remind myself that i want to be here. i dreamed of being here. 

i've really got to get started on my homework now, so this is all i offer you today. until next time x

~media~

audio

*flagpole sitta by harvey danger

*pink in the night by mitski

*never let me down again by depeche mode

*fast car by tracy chapman

*she by tyler, the creator

visual

*the last of us

*the spiral staircase

*the shining

*stardew valley