new yearz resolutions

i resolve to allow myself to experience my emotions more. especially fear. i am so afraid of being scared. i will try to spend more time with the things that scare me, so maybe them and i can learn to get along. remind myself that if something scares me, i'm might just have to do it scared.

i resolve to give my accomplishments the recognition they deserve. even if i don't think they're a big deal. let me recognize something now. i did all my homework this semester. i used to think that i was incapable of doing homework, and this was something reinforced by the people around me. i feared that i would not be able to function in a traditional school environment ever again. but i did it, i completed my first semester of college. it wasn't without some struggle, but that's not what i should focus on. a whole semester of homework, done. proud of myself. 

i resolve to devote more time to my relationships, in a way that feels good for me. to stop aiming for a somewhat neurotypical ideal of friendship. because as it turns out, maintaining a lot of friendships at once is hard for me. 

i resolve to be myself! it can be hard sometimes.

i am excited to change this year, and to learn new things. it is so thrilling when i can see myself changing for the better in real time. i can feel that a lot of big things are going to happen this year, and i can't wait to meet them. 

this year i want to take more pictures. like real photography style and in general. and i intend to start up my one second every day again. like everything i post on the internet is really a time capsule for my future self. like this blog of course, and my instagram and everything. i hope to have a huge digital footprint. 

today's song is tender by blur. give it a listen.

happy new year to all, and to all a happy new year. until next time x