introspection

 hey blog,

new things about me: i have a drivers license and a septum piercing. i have been turning into a new person on the outside. new piercing, new hair, new tattoo, new clothes. maybe i am new on the inside too. i feel a strange seriousness about myself. 

most of the ways i have changed in my life have been influenced by my perception of what other people want. i can't say this time is any different but i'd like to think i'm making it my own. i'm finding it hard to tell if i really want the things i want or if i think someone else will. i don't think that sentence made sense but i'm not gonna fix it.

i want to be everything.

 

i feel a lot like i did around this same time two years ago. that's all there is to say about that. the rest of that thought is only for me.

rehearsals for little women are very much happening. i'm terrible at memorizing my lines and i fear i will let down the rest of the cast.

lately i've been listening to phoebe bridgers, MF DOOM, 100 gecs, Djo, pierce the veil, and most recently ethel cain. that's whats up. i'm glad i've developed the attention span to listen to a whole album in order, it's been really fun to listen to new things.

i've been getting back into knitting and crocheting a bit. i finished a crocheted scarf for a friend recently, and i'm starting another one. i have to knit onstage for the play as well. crocheting is especially fun, it's so cool to see tangible results from something like that.

i got my septum pierced yesterday, and i'm already in love with it. **warning if u don't wanna hear about maybe gross details** i think the septum definitely hurt less than my other nose piercing, but the other effects were worse. i teared up a lot and there was a strange rushing sound in my ears. it also bled quite a bit, which none of my other piercings ever did. i will actually spare you the description of what it felt like because it feels kind of gross, lol.

i like this idea i've found people talking about, of dressing up my avatar like my life is a video game. my septum piercing feels like the newest cool thing i've bought for my avatar. 

 

that's all i have for you this time. one year anniversary of this blog is january 29. probably won't post again before then, so happy early one year anniversary. it's been fun.